Rules to Fight By
Acknowledge your angry feelings. Learn to speak up and don't deny your anger.
Fighting between family members and loved ones is natural. There is no guilt in expressing anger.
Try to accept your partner or child's feelings, they have a right to be angry, too. Respect them and don't smile or laugh at what they say.
Listen and keep listening. Paraphrase what you hear, check to see that you understand what they are thinking.
Shift your attention to the issue you are fighting for. Attack the problem, not each other.
Avoid put-downs, it makes others defensive and harder to reach.
Recognize when you and your loved one are venting, don't create a fight when anger is not directed at you personally.
Don't become an injury, injustice, or grievance collector.
Avoid bringing up past fights, hitting below the belt, or throwing back information given in trust.
Don't try to solve problems when you are tired, hungry, drunk or unstable.
Admit when you are wrong. It may be painful but it is necessary for your own growth.